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Dax Montana

Hunting for the Finer Things of Life

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Saturday, June 07, 2003

Close but no Cigar

Roger Clemens can't seem to win 3000 games. Funny Cide didn't win the Triple Crown. I'm stuck at work and using this shitty AOL and CPU. Just Damn!

I've spent the last couple of days trying to scrape up financial backing for a new business venture, which will ensure my retirement plans. Anyone got 2.5 million dollars I can borrow? I'll Blog for food.

posted by Dax Montana 7:25:53 PM

In Memorandum

Yesterday, I reported on the latest addition to my family’s menagerie. Well the little, cute Wood Turtle turned out to be a baby Box Turtle. (Scroll down for pictures). Furthermore, the little Box Turtle turned out DEAD. Just Damn!

Now I have to explain why little creatures are better off in their natural habitats. We skipped the funeral scene, just too much drama. In lieu of flowers, you may send cash contributions to Mike’s Bait Shop.


posted by Dax Montana 5:26:22 PM

Thanks


I would like to thank Robert Goodwin for his help in my quest for knowledge. If you haven’t read this guy check him out here.

posted by Dax Montana 5:13:42 PM

Good Riddance

It’s about time someone listened to me and took my advice. It seems Michael Adams, the President of the University of Georgia, finally read my email and is not going to offer Vince Dooley another contract as Athletic Director. I make no secret of my distain for Coach Dooley. Sure he won 1; count ‘em 1, National Championship back in 1980. Soon after, he was destined for retirement. The natural choice as replacement would be Assistant Coach Irk Russell. Well, the good ole boosters started tongue wagging. First about another National Championship, then some fool said Governor of Georgia. Thankfully, some rational sense was talked into Coach Dooley and he never ran for Governor. However, the seed of greatness had done been planted. Vince postponed retirement for a few years, and a restless Irk Russell moved on. I guess on the surface, you might think, ” so what.” Well the consequences of those selfish actions have resonated sour notes ever since.

Let’s see what happened. Irk Russell went to Georgia Southern College, (now University); He created a football program from scratch. In its third season in I-AA the team won a Championship. In the program’s fourth season, another championship. Just Damn! One hell of a coach. The program has always achieved greatness. “The Eagles made history by winning six NCAA I-AA National Football Championships -- 1985, 1986, 1989, 1990, 1999, and 2000 – a record unequaled in the Division.”

I know, I know, what if Irk Russell didn’t win? Or, I-AA is a weak division. How could Vince Dooley know that Irk Russell would be so successful, or whatever. The success that could have been the Bulldogs isn’t what makes me so angry. The knife in the back of every Dawg fan is the Hiring of Ray Goff as Dooley’s handpicked replacement, a decision that as handicapped the Dawgs for 20 years. So I say good-bye Vince Dooley, don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out!


posted by Dax Montana 5:09:10 PM

The Quest for Knowledge

I have a really big problem admitting that I don’t know something. When I’m wrong, I can fess up to that no problem. It’s the not knowing that hurts. I figure I spent all those years in post secondary education for a reason. The only thing College taught me was that I don’t have to know anything, but if I know where to find the information, that’s everything. I think that’s why schools like to spend so much money on Libraries and Football teams.

There are a few things in the Blogosphere that I don’t know. So now that I’ve admitted that, I can now seek the information. For starters, what is an RSS feed? Do I need one? What is an Aggregator and do I need one of those? Although, I have my own domain, I use Blogger. Other than permalinks, I’ve never had problems. Why should I use Moveable Type? Or should I use Greymatter, B2, or another publishing program? Changing would require another hosting service. What is the time investment with learning these new tools? And why is division by Zero undefined? Define it already!


posted by Dax Montana 1:13:11 PM

The Menagerie

Our little house is slowly filling up with animals. I guess I’ve always been a “pet” guy. When we moved here, about four years ago, I only had 2 children. I didn’t want any pets. I figured that I had graduated from pets to children. I had forgotten how small boys love to “collect” living things.

I set up a small twenty-gallon aquarium first. I populated it with small colorful fish. Nothing extravagant like the 75-gallon mini-reef salt-water tank I had many years ago.
Then grandpa thought every boy should have a dog. I agreed. Well, Snoopy only lasted with us about a year. It seems that small rat terriers don’t like small children. When the dog bit Quint, he had to go. Somewhere along the way, my wife found a stray kitten. Now that kitten has had kittens. Grandma found a red-eared slider turtle now named Rock. And our latest addition is a Wood Turtle; I think. We have had “pet” crickets, many frogs, and assorted grass snakes and lizards. The wildlife only lasts about a week. That is how long it takes me to convince the kids that the animals would be better off in their natural habitat.

To date our little zoo consists of:

3 children
1 cat
3 kittens
2 turtles
1 frog
and a pet to be named later.




posted by Dax Montana 12:47:40 PM

Trouble

Trouble is something I seem to know a little bit about seeing how I tend to be in it quite frequently. I manage people, mostly young people. As a restaurant / bar manager of young people, I have noticed over the years the trends in trouble. I hear a phrase like, “what did they do.” Although I understand the meaning of this phrase, it is incorrect. When I or someone else gets into trouble, 90 percent of the time it is because of something not done as opposed to doing some action. Oh, some examples you ask?
I didn’t use birth control.
I didn’t lower the toilet seat. (Big trouble!)
I didn’t go to bed at a reasonable hour.
I didn’t call my mama. (A shit storm!)
I didn’t pay the phone bill on time.
I’ve come to the conclusion that all the good things I do are overshadowed by the things I didn’t do. Just Damn!


posted by Dax Montana 5:47:25 AM

You Lose

Da Goddess is sponsoring a loser contest. She wants to be a big loser. I have just decided to join in her quest to be a loser too. Besides, I only have 20 days left of sobriety; I’ll need something else to do. I guess I’ll start another 100-day program.


posted by Dax Montana 5:25:19 AM

A Smattering

Hunting around the net looking for something to post. Today is 6th period at work, Acidman is back, and Kim at Velociworld sumed up how I feel here. "I used to come home from work and do 20 miles on the bike. Now I do 20 Marlboro Lights at the keyboard." (I’m stealing this line by the way.) I’m still a Lowly insect at #1807 in the Blogosphere. The Great Rat Race is still ongoing so I’ll link here, here and here. I don’t understand why Right We Are is at #160 and at #259. I’m only half as paranoid as I was yesterday because Philip Coons admitted to being a Government spy in an email. I’m tired because don’t sleep and my back hurts. Just Damn!


posted by Dax Montana 5:08:30 AM

Paranoid

If someone is really stalking me, is that still paranoia? I just had a hit from the GAO. GOV. That makes two government agents lurking on my Blog. First it was the USCOURTS.GOV now this. I swear I didn’t do anything wrong. No porn, no drugs, no treason, I just practice a little Freedom of Speech. No wonder no one wants to link to me. Just Damn!


posted by Dax Montana 6:34:44 AM

Oscar the Grouch


I don’t remember when I met that furry green bastard from the trashcan. I think it was back in ’69 or maybe ’70. I really liked him. He was as mean as a barbed wire fence on a cashmere sweater and didn’t take any crap from anyone, not Gordon, or Kermit, or even Big Bird. I’m sure those guys could stomp that grouchy bitch into the pavement, but Oscar had attitude. No Oscar the Grouch isn’t dead or canceled or anything. I just grew up and moved on from the neighborhood.

I think every neighborhood has an Oscar the Grouch. You know that mean ass old man down the street that screams at kids for walking through his yard on the way to the park. The prick whose yard you would “rut” when you achieved driver status. The focus of all the neighborhood’s hate. I think it is a law that realtors have to sell at least one house to an Oscar. I think that there is also that one kid who felt sorry for the old crumbly piece of shit for a human being and would make an attempt to befriend him. You know the one, the loner kid or fat kid or the weird kid. What strikes me funny is that the withered pissant of a man would always take the loser kid in. You know the story…Loser kid befriends grouch, grouch is misunderstood, lonely widower, or got screwed in some way, kid opens grouch’s heart…Blah, Blah, Blah…

The neighborhood has to have this guy to keep the dynamic in place. There would be some rip in the space/ time dealie or some such catastrophe. When the grouch’s heart mends, some other guy assumes the role of grouch. We all love this guy, or love to hate him. Either way that’s the way the world works.

That’s the way the Blogosphere works too. There are the sappy sweet Bloggers and there are the Oscars. We gotta have ‘em. Some of these Sour Bobs evolve, and some of the Acidmen move on. I’m not worried, some other Venomous Bitch will move into the Blogosphere and fill the void. It’s the nature of things.

posted by Dax Montana 4:31:53 AM

Random Acts of Kindness

I found this guy in my comments only to discover he not only added me to the Blogroll but linked to me too. It will be a pleasure reading you from what I’ve read so far.


posted by Dax Montana 6:10:28 AM

Death of a Hero?

The Attorney General, John Ashcroft, said in this story, “This sends a clear message that we will never cease in our efforts to hunt down all terrorists, foreign or domestic, and stop them from harming the innocent.” Like the Feds had anything to do with his capture. I make my position very clear when it comes to government. I don’t trust them, on any level. I always get nervous when I see that U.S. Courts in my referrers. I wish whoever that is would leave me a comment or email or something. Just gives me the willies. Anyway, I always had a hero worship kind of thing for Eric Rudolph. Not because he bombed people or was anti- whatever, but because he slipped into the forest not to be seen or caught in spite of the massive manhunt. I have hiked and camped in those very same woods. I can relate to the outdoors area he disappeared into. It’s the stuff legends and folklore are made of like a D.B. Cooper story. I think it sucks that he was caught eating from a dumpster by Barney Fife rookie cop. It just kills the whole legendary outlaw image I had of the guy. I feel like Bobby Brady did when he came to the rationalization that Jesse James actually killed people. Next you’ll tell me Rock Hudson was gay. Just Damn!


posted by Dax Montana 5:50:59 AM