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Dax Montana

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Saturday, May 03, 2003

The Red Light

The new red light started working today. That brings the total number of lights on my journey to work up to an even twenty. I think I’m going to like this light. I’ve been known to sit at the intersection a good 8 to 12 minutes. During some parts of the day, I would avoid the light altogether because the traffic was so bad. I’m going to like light number zero. See I’ve named all the lights according to their relative position to each other. Instead of renaming all the lights, I’ll just call the new one Zero. Besides, I like the positioning of “key” lights. I hate light 15. It always stops me and for no good reasons too. It’s not like traffic is waiting or anything. If I renamed light 15 and started calling it 16, my hatred for 15 would bleed onto 14 which doesn’t impede my travel as much. It just wouldn’t be right. Even though I don’t pass through light 20, 20 still backs me up. 20 is at the intersection of two major roadways. It’s a great stopping place for light counting. Renaming the lights would just screw that all up. There is also light 10.5. I call it 10.5 because it just flashes. It doesn’t stop me.




posted by Dax Montana 3:25:45 AM

I knew I was bad. I just didn't know how bad until now....Just Damn!

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fifth Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Very High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Moderate
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	High

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

posted by Dax Montana 4:31:05 AM

Ouch!

It’s the little bullshit wounds that hurt the most. I sliced the crap out of my finger at work tonight. Just Damn! The dishwasher wasn’t holding water…Again! Usually a straw or lemon wedge gets into the drain gasket, which causes the water to leak out. As I reached into the reservoir, a piece of broken glass slices into my finger. Man did I bleed! Blood gushed from my hand dripping onto the floor, onto my shirt, onto my bartender’s shoes. I don’t know what it is about blood. People freak out at the site of it. Just damn! It was no big deal. She didn’t have to scream and create a fuss. Anyway, It will heal.

I used to work for a chain of Blimpie sandwich shops. We would slice each sandwich to order. The slicer was very sharp! You’ve seen them at the local deli counter. My stores were always highest in sales volume. I would slice hundreds of sandwiches everyday during our busy lunch rush. Every one fresh sliced and custom made to order. I was very fast. As a matter of fact, I was the fastest. I have won many wonderful trips to the annual convention to compete in the “Sub Races.” After several years of being the regional champion, I won the world championship in 2001. The point of this long story is…when asked how I became so fast. I replied, “ After you slice off the tips of you fingers a couple of times, you realize that skin grows back. I have gained respect for the slicer, but have lost all fear of it.” Kind of like Acidman’s acid stories.


posted by Dax Montana 4:10:21 AM

I am having the best time reading Blogs with Snoop Dogg. Reading Gut Rumbles Doggy style makes it all worth while.

posted by Dax Montana 6:39:32 AM

No one wants Bob! just insane cause I loved that guy!

posted by Dax Montana 6:09:10 AM

Earthquake

Wow! I just experienced my first Earthquake. About 5:00 this morning, I felt a low frequency rumble through my floor. I got that “something is bad wrong” feeling. You know the one. Your heart quickens and your stomach tightens. The windows were shaking in their frames. The tremor even awoke the lovely and talented Priscilla. I went outside to see what was going on. An earthquake in Northeast Georgia is very rare. That was the last thing I would have guessed even though I kind of sort a knew it. I turned on the local news. After about 15 minutes, they finally had some information, magnitude 4.9. I wonder if that ole Georgia Cracker Acidman felt it?


posted by Dax Montana 7:03:49 AM