The Dax Files
The Life and Times of
Dax Montana
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Tuesday, April 15, 2003
Watching the fires burn… No, not in Iraq…in my back yard. Over the course of the winter, we (read my wife) have collected a modest pile of leaves, sticks, tree limbs, 2 old Christmas trees, and some old shrubs she had to dig up. Today was the day I got up off my ass and set fire to the pile. The fact that the hammock was nearby aided my decision. The pile was relatively high and the yard is relatively dry so we hedged our bets and commissioned the aid of the old water hose. The controlled burn was very uneventful. Flames licked the sky but only momentarily. Then the fire settled down to a comfortable roar.
The three kids ran helter skelter across the yard collecting sticks and twigs and everything else they could pick up to toss on the fire. Mom stood carefully by with that ever-watchful eye. Manning the hose like a sentry, she had her finger on the trigger just in case a lone spark decided to migrate.
That’s when the trouble started…
Maybe she began to feel useless and foolish, but I suspect a deeper more sinister motive. Yes! The wonderful and talented Priscilla became power crazed. The evil glint in her eye proved my theory as her itchy trigger finger squeezed the trigger. Like Saddam’s madmen, she hosed down innocent screaming children. Oh the horror! Children screaming, crying, running trying to escape the pulsing jet of the water hose. The watery massacre lasted but only for a moment, but I new I had to liberate the backyard. Without consensus of the United Neighbors I leapt into action. I had to make a preemptive strike. Taking the lessons I’ve learned over the last few weeks, I used my special force covert maneuver. I leaned in for a kiss. Ha! She fell for the oldest trick in the book. In mid lip lock, I seized the watery weapon from her unsuspecting hand. Then with precision targeting I unleashed the fury. She never had a chance. I left only enough infrastructures to satisfy my basil needs. Then using a small child as a human shield, I made haste to the border.
As the fire smolders, the liberated enjoy hotdogs and hamburgers….War is hell!
posted by Dax Montana 6:27:58 PM
Tax Day
Yes it’s April 15, and the day millions of Americans pay their taxes. As usual, Radio Talk host Neil Boortz posts his ideas on the subject. A must read.
posted by Dax Montana 5:48:24 PM
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