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Dax Montana

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Saturday, November 09, 2002

For years I’ve stated my racial make up as Half Redneck Half Asshole. However, the more I work and interact with damn Yankees and punk kids the more asshole comes out.
For example, just last weekend, my mother calls to tell me that my brother’s dog of 11 years just died. Just damn! The Bro comes home from a horrible night of college football (the Dawgs lost!) only to find his best friend had expired on the dog bed. Making matters worse, the animal “mortuary” was closed on Sunday. He had to lay his dog in state in the damned garage for the rest of the weekend. Now here’s where the Asshole comes in. I call my Bro; he is obviously bummed out, in perfect asshole fashion I say, “What’s the matter? You sound like your dog just died.” Normally I don’t have much of a conscience when it comes to such assholery, but this was my brother. I can’t get him on the phone to apologize. Maybe he’ll see the humor in it?


posted by Dax Montana 2:13:37 PM

My fellow “lumberjacks” and I got together tonight to admire our handy work. We really had a great time removing the trees that blocked the signage to our store. I don’t think the landlord is to happy though. At least the police didn’t show up.

posted by Dax Montana 1:55:05 AM

Man! What a killer election night! I’m as giddy as a schoolboy in heat. Finally a Republican Governor in Georgia! It’s only been something like 130 years. Just Damn! See that’s what you get when you start fuckin’ around with Southern Heritage. The Georgia Flag was obviously STILL an issue you stupid bastard! Oh yea, we’ll teach you to screw around with video gambling too. Hahahahaha!

What these power mad Democrats failed to realize is that when you rule with an iron thumb, the people will bite it slap the fuck off! Besides Governor Roy Barnes getting the boot so did Speaker of the House Tom Murphy. After God knows how many years as speaker, he finally gets the boot. I must admit that’s it’s still to early to tell, but the way things have been going…it looks like the Senate is going to go to the Republicans. Stifle legislation will you? Bam! Your outta here. Good bye Max Cleland ya crippled bastard! That grenade shoulda killed your sorry ass. Fuckin’ Losers…Hahahahah.


posted by Dax Montana 1:38:23 AM

It ‘s cool sites like this one that keep me hanging out at the Planet. Thanks Zack!

posted by Dax Montana 1:25:40 AM

I usually don't link to online quizzes. However, this quiz, is remarkably uncanny.

posted by Dax Montana 2:52:45 PM

Gotta go vote now! This site helped me make up my mind.

posted by Dax Montana 12:30:00 PM

The ringing of the phone awakens me from pleasant slumber. I groggily answer,
Hello
Hey, got a chainsaw?
Uh? Yea?
Bring it to work Sunday.
Ok? But why?
Got a little job for you.
I’ll bring it?!
Anyway, I pack off for work with saw in tow. I always hated those covert Ops, especially those involving dismemberment. Oh well, I did sign on for the job.
Darkness and full of vodka, the only way in which such deeds can be done. The rainy, mist of chilly autumn nights caress my skin. The barren parking lot screams of desolation, a perfect scene of the crime. I spy my intended victims. They were standing tall and proud like majestic soldiers guarding the night. Suddenly and without warning, the rip of the chainsaw pierces the night air. Like some crazed madman, I run screaming into the night hacking away…oh the horror….
The slain lay silent on the icky black pavement. We stand around laughing hysterically at my handiwork. The saw hangs silently at my side. I need another drink before my accomplices help me dispose of the fallen victims. The rain is falling harder now. We nervously glance around for witnesses before we drag the carcasses away. The hedgerow grows tall and guards the embankment. Through the wet brush we quickly stuff the remains. Hidden from view, we feel safe. I need another drink to help me forget.


posted by Dax Montana 12:28:18 PM

I’m just not “feeling” it tonight. Maybe tomorrow I’ll have more to say. After all, the Sopranos will fill my bar with eerie silence.

posted by Dax Montana 4:17:05 AM

I’m in a deep depression over my beloved Georgia Bulldogs. Losing to Florida is an annual event. I was only hoping for change of venue

posted by Dax Montana 4:01:59 AM