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Dax Montana

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Wednesday, September 25, 2002

I was reading about Revenge tonight, and I got to thinking about all the vindictive things I’ve done in the past. I recall a certain next-door neighbor, who liked to invite the police to my wild teenage parties. (The Drinking Age was then 18) I never let the police in the door mind you. I just met them out front and promised to quiet things down. However, being a drunken teen dealing with the police becomes rather tiring. (It was really chapping my ass!) I guess my neighbor was just dying to be invited. When the neighbor moved in, I thought he was pretty cool. He and his young wife seemed like nice people. They weren’t much older than me, and we shared similar interests. I just think involving the police is a drastic measure. Anyway, after many visits by the authorities, I decided to take revenge upon my neighbor.
Phase One: C.O.D.
Back in the day, the as-seen-on-TV crap could be delivered c.o.d. I don’t really know how many Ginzu Knives or Civil War Chess Sets were sent, but I made sure something would arrive daily. The postman must have gotten tired of all the choppers, dicers, slicers, and albums being delivered. When the police arrived at my next function, I knew all hell would break loose.
Phase Two: The Utilities.
I started my reconnaissance on trash day. I went through the neighbor’s trash and discovered all types of interesting facts and tidbits. Among the daily clutter and leftovers, I stumbled upon paid utility bills complete with account numbers. Later that afternoon, I called each utility company and scheduled disconnection. I figured the phone should be first to go. (So he couldn’t call to restore service.)
Man was he pissed, I don’t think I have ever seen someone so angry. He was literally shaking. I thought he was going to kill me right on the spot. Of course, I denied knowing what he was talking about. I couldn’t keep a straight face that Saturday morning. (I figured that disconnection on a weekend would be appropriate.) As he was walking away, my parting comment was, “ I guess you should pay your bills!” The police never showed up at the house again. Mission Accomplished!


posted by Dax Montana 3:29:34 AM

I am going through a Country Music phase lately. Maybe hunting last week had something to do with it. Willie Nelson rocks, Also, Alan Jackson. Cool!

posted by Dax Montana 4:36:49 AM

In a moment on clarity, I remembered. I shaved my “Fu Manchu” style moustache off today. Man what a response. I must have taken 10 years off my age with the stroke of a razor. I hate it! I remembered I said I would never shave off the “stache.” I look like a little kid. No wonder I get carded for buying cigarettes. Thank god it will grow back….Don’t worry no pictures of this night mare….Dax has a moustache!

posted by Dax Montana 4:32:51 AM

After much Wild Turkey and Goldschlager, I can hardly remember what I wanted to post. I do know that Tiffany over at Cinnamon-Gnome needs a shout-out and a date! I had an opinion about…oh well…I forgot.

posted by Dax Montana 4:12:01 AM

I am convinced that Tony Soprano is a Bad Ass…

I have never seen a bar full of people and silent. Very strange that is. 20 people sitting in silence watching a television show. They silently motion for another drink as Tony Soprano beats a bartender with an ice bucket…Classic!


posted by Dax Montana 2:39:16 AM