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Dax Montana

Hunting for the Finer Things of Life

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Saturday, June 08, 2002

Ok, I just added a Photo page to the site. I just forgot to put a home link on it so use the back button on your browser. I will add photos from time to time. Mostly for the family. Enjoy! Should I include a webcam? and how do I do it? Who needs sleep?

posted by Dax Montana 5:14:08 AM

which Episode II character are you?



Probably the greatest Jedi Knight of all. Like Obi Wan, you are wise and keep your feet on the ground at all times. You will not be outsmarted by anyone. You are always faithful to your friends. Be careful though, danger lurks around every corner - you could even be betrayed by those closest to you.




posted by Dax Montana 2:58:22 AM

Still sleepless...those Mathematically challenged...skip this post. All others enjoy!

Let a and b each be equal to 1. Since a and b are equal,
b2 = ab (eq. 1)

Since a equals itself, it is obvious that
a2 = a2 (eq.2)

Subtract equation 1 from equation 2. this yields
a2 - b2 = a2 – ab (eq. 3)

We can factor both sides of the equation; a2 – ab equals
a(a – b). Likewise, a2 – b2 equals (a + b) (a – b). (Nothing fishy
is going on here. This statement is perfectly true. Plug in
numbers and see for yourself!) Substituting in to equation 3,
we get
(a + b)(a – b) = a(a – b) (eq. 4)

So far, so good. Now divide both sides of the equation by
(a – b) and we get
a + b = a (eq. 5)

Subtract a from both sides and we get
b = 0 (eq. 6)

But we set b to 1 at the very beginning of this proof, so this
means that
1 = 0 (eq. 7)

This is an important result. Going further, we know that George
Bush has one head. But one equals zero by equation
7, so that means that Bush has no head. Likewise,
Bush has zero leafy tops, therefore he has one leafy top.
Multiplying both sides of the equation 7 by 2 , we see that
2 = 0 (eq. 8)

George Bush has two legs, therefore he has no legs. Bush has
two arms, therefore he has no arms. Now multiply equation 7
by George Bush’s waist size in inches. This means that
(Bush’s waist size) = 0 (eq.9)

This means that George Bush tapers to a point. Now,
what color is George Bush? Take any beam of light that
comes from him and select a photon. Multiply equation 7 by
the wavelength, and we see that
(Bush’s photon’s wavelength) = 0 (eq. 10)

But multiplying equation 7 by 640 nanometers, we see that
640 = 0 (eq. 11)

Combining equations 10 and 11, we see that
(Bush’s photon’s wavelength) = 640 nanometers

This means that this photon – or any other photon that comes
From Mr. Bush – is orange. Therefore George Bush is a
bright shade of orange.

To sum up, we have proved, mathematically, that
George Bush has no arms and no legs; instead of a head, he
has a leafy top; he tapers to a point; and he is bright orange.
Clearly, George Bush is a carrot. (There is a simpler
Way to prove this. Adding 1 to both sides of equation 7 gives
the equation
2 = 1

George Bush and a carrot are two different things, therefore
They are 1 thing. But that’s not nearly as satisfying.)

What is wrong with this proof? There is only one step
That is flawed, and that is the one where we go from equation
4 to equation 5. We divide by a – b. But look out. Since a and
b are both equal to 1, a – b = 1 –1 = 0. we have divided by
zero, and we get the ridiculous statement that 1 = 0. From
there we can prove any statement in the universe, whether it
is true or false. The whole framework of mathematics has
exploded in our faces.

Used unwisely, zero has the power to destroy logic.

Now you know the horror it is to be me!


posted by Dax Montana 2:38:50 AM

Here's one for all Y'all Springer fans!

posted by Dax Montana 4:43:01 AM

I took the day off, No work, no blogging, no television. I just relaxed by the pool and napped. Now I can't sleep again. We all know what kind of thoughts creep in the ole noggin when that happens....

B cell batteries...Where are they? There are D's, C's, AA's, AAA's, No B's...What are class B cigarettes? ever see one? or USDA grade B meat? would I want to eat it? A "B" was a good thing when I was in school....Grades and Bra size. I know a "B" movie when I see it.


posted by Dax Montana 4:30:54 AM

Here is one of those sports history sites no one cares about except maybe Country Boy and Acidman.

posted by Dax Montana 12:36:35 PM

I added another page to the ole Web Site as well as a new link. I also changed the color a bit.

posted by Dax Montana 4:49:07 AM

Yea I get my jollies tormenting my childern, but I get a raving hard-on tormenting strangers. I've had a lot of "think time" lately. (maybe it's the fever). At the bar we sell lottery tickets, Big Game, Mega Millions, etc. We also sell scratch off games too. He's where the real fun is. See, after a scratch off winner is validated and the cash is paid out, the ticket is no good. We just throw it away. There is nothing funnier than taking several "winners" out to the parking lot and leaving them for the drunks to find. These folks holler and jump around, but the ticket is no good. And I thought the fake novelty tickets were funny!

At one restaurant I managed, I would super glue change to the sidewalk. It was big fun to watch people spend twenty minutes trying to pick up the change. Some folks would come in and ask for a knife. Please it's just a Quarter for pete's sake.

Yes harmless pranks, but should you cross me look out! About twenty years ago, my new neighbor had a bad habit of calling the police on me for having loud parties. It wouldn't have been a big deal, but he and his wife would party with us then go home and call the cops. What an asshole! After about the third time this occurred, I went seeking revenge. I scoped out his trashcan, found the info I was looking for, then bent him over. I called Georgia Power, Atlanta Gas Light, and Bellsouth. (aledgedly) I gave these select utility companies billing info and had service cut off. Man! My neighbor was pissed! Serves him right!

Then there's the guy who failed to pay me $300.00 for the windshield he broke. So I sued him. I've learned how to do this very well. My favorite thing to do is hire a Federal Marshal to serve the suit at the guy's workplace. He gets humiliated in front of his boss and co-workers. He loses the lawsuit too. All he had to do was Pay what he owed. Why try to screw me?

As I've grown up, I realize that an ass kicking is temporary pain. (for the most part) However, a lawsuit is mental anguish that lasts for months. 60 bucks to file, 50 bucks for service, 30 days to respond, then 30 days to wait for my response etc.. They usually hire an attorney. I cost them big money. It's better and cheaper to just pay me.

I really haven't sought revenge lately. Now that I'm even older, I have to account for the karma factor. What comes around, goes around.

posted by Dax Montana 2:31:11 AM

If you didn't know, I have children. Many children. All punk asses. I love all four, but as they are begining to grow out of that cute stage, I can't help but to think up ways to torture them. No, No, No, not beat them or anything like that. I just get my kicks watching them toil away at some mindless task I have assigned them. For example, I had my two older boys (5 and 7) clean out the bathtub. It was full of their scummy dirt (red clay) from the backyard. All they had to do was rinse the clay down the drain. "Why do I have to do it?", "It's not fair!" the little whiny brats scowled. BECAUSE I SAID SO! I just love saying that. I used to think I wouldn't ever use phrases like that on my kids...before I actually had kids. "Want me to stop the car?" Ha, Ha, Ha! (I have stopped the car too.) I can't wait for then to be old enough...(An arbitrary age to be ultimately determined by my wife.) to cut the grass, weed the flower beds or countless other tasks I have planned. Not because I don't want to do work around the house, (I don't) but because I think kids don't have a good work ethic. I see it at my job everyday. I want my children to have calloused hands from working outside, the ability to build things, to be able to work on an engine (car or lawn mower). I don't want my kids to be blobs in front of a TV or computer or video game. They need to have calloused feet from being outside, barefoot. No carpet-feet allowed. A young lady just quit her summer job because she didn't think it was FAIR that her assigned task was to clean the bathroom. "I'm not cleaning the toilet, I don't clean it at home." My daughter will say, " How clean do you want it?" Some shrink bastard with nth degrees told me not to punish my kids with chores. "They should do chores as part of the family," he said. Yea, well I got chores and I got chores. I love to think up weird stuff as punishment. The 8th Admendment does not apply in my home! My favorite punishment is a "report." I make the damned read (if applicable) or watch a news segment then tell me about it and what it means. It's like "time-out" but with an analysis. Nothing to harsh, but not sports either. I thank God I'm not MY kid.

posted by Dax Montana 2:37:09 AM

Thoughts on blogging.

I've been reading and blogging for about two years now. Only when I started, I didn't know blogging was what it was called. I designed a web page, wrote stuff every few days, then uploaded a newly created page. I did it all by hand coding. It's a small wonder I kept at it. Only recently, I found "Blogger." Wow, how easy it has become for me. Now with the ease of publishing, I'm not quite sure what to post or better yet not post. I don't want to post the same material everyone else does. I don't want to post very similiar comments about the same old material either. If an article catches my attention, I may post my unique thought from time to time, but that is becoming more rare. I have found that Instapundit and (the recently coiffed ) Long Haired Country Boy have very similar styles. The Acidman too. I read them all and enjoy them all, but why should I do the same type thing? I link to them. I thought about a more personal approach, but I find myself censoring myself. I just don't need the 7:00am phone call from Mom, "What did you mean by calling us white trash..." (mom isn't too internet savvy....as the phone rings.) Maybe I'm a journalist, a columnist, a hack or just asshole. I'm no Dave Berry or Glenn Reynolds. I'm Dax Montana Damn it! The point is I just don't understand why bloggers and mainstreamers are feuding. Who cares? Bloggers will blog and mainstreamers will...well...mainstream. So what if I get my news days before those unplugged millions do? What if my facts are wrong? I'm just gonna keep writing and let myself and this blog evolve into whatever it becomes. For those few who read it regularly, Thank You. (It gives my hit counter something to do) And to those who stumble up on this page, Welcome, hope you hang out a while. It can't get much worse than this crap...well...yes it can...see archives.

posted by Dax Montana 12:29:09 AM

If you really want to lose sleep...read this. Check out the entire site very cool stuff. Now you know what keeps me awake at night.

posted by Dax Montana 11:41:25 PM

Feeling much better today thanks to Acidman's advice.

posted by Dax Montana 11:36:12 PM